Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Creature (1985) Review:

I don't call poorly made films awful unless I don't agree with the tone that the story displays to me on screen. Besides the fact that, every film deserves credit for at least being given a theatrical release for the work that was done to create the production. However, that doesn't mean the production was executed nicely or was entertaining. And based off the hour and thirty minutes that I sat through, I was really bored with it. This is an Alien (1979) knock-off that doesn't deserve to be called a good knock-off.

The character of Bryce...whom we never really get to know
The title of the movie is as bland as the plot itself. And before anything even started, everything but one credit ran onto the page and that was whose film it was. It was never stated who starred in this film and what actors I would see. What kind of introduction is that? Doesn't director William Malone want his audiences to know who will be acting in his then being released movie? Jeez, what a glory hound.

The story is about a space crew that answers a distress call from one of Jupiter's moons named Titan. There, they discover an alien that was thought to be long gone, but was only hibernating in which it then begins to  kill off each member one by one. Quite honestly, it wasn't even the cliche plot that bored me. It was the poorly written character roles. Director Malone and his one time writing partner Alan Reed really did a less than professional job at creating characters with any depth.

There were so many areas that could have been touched upon and none of them were even looked at. There were two couples in the crew. How'd they meet? How long have they been together? There was a character named Bryce. She didn't even talk until about 30 minutes into the film. Why? Is there something about her we don't know? And possibly the weirdest individual of all is Hofner (Klaus Kinski) which many viewers seem to like for some reason. He too was never given a background. He's also an old pervert, but that's it.

There are also blatantly clear things that every character should have common sense for. If you know, that you cannot live in space without a helmet, why go following someone who doesn't have one on? Wouldn't that seem odd or unusual? I mean really. And if there is no possibility of surviving out in space without a spacesuit, how is it that one member of the crew able to survive after being left out in a vacuum for several minutes?

Spacesuitsm,,,,one of the few things I found interesting
The only credit I'm giving is for at least having decent looking effects when it came to the spaceships, moon terrain and spacesuits. Yes there was blood, but the alien barely even showed its face in the whole running time. And then, once it was fully on screen, it looked like a teenage mutant ninja sloth. Also it was clunky as hell. It wasn't smooth moving at all. It looked choppier than King Kong (1933). And as for Thomas Chase and Steve Rucker's music, I don't know what to say about it. It's just music. It doesn't sound terrible or obnoxious but it wasn't engaging either. I probably enjoyed their music more from Dexter's Laboratory (1996) than in here.

The characters are one-dimensional and they aren't intelligent either. There is no tension anywhere and the special effects are derivative. Watch only if you want to waste time.

Points Earned --> 1:10

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