Galaxina (1980) Review:

Everything can be done right, even if the resources needed are not always available. I also can understand that not everything works out as planned but this seems like a stretch. There is potential here but there just isn't enough effort to really call it even a movie. It tries its hardest to be a parody but that can't even be performed thoroughly either. So what's the problem? Practically everything, I only found one thing that was KIND OF funny.

Dorothy Stratten as Galaxina

To get right to the point, the main reason why anyone would want to go see this movie is because it focuses on a character portrayed by a playboy model. That is it. Unless there are hardcore fans of the other unknown actors, there's a good chance there is no other reason. Here's where the main problem is - the writing. William Sachs, who wrote and directed this film, displays that his ability to produce a quality story has a low probability. There is no story here. It is not until a third of the way into the movie will the audience actually here about some kind of an objective; which felt like an eternity.

The story (if that's what one would call it) is about a goofy space police crew who travel through space on a real dumb journey. In charge of the crew are Sgt. Thor (Stephen Macht) and Captain Cornelius Butt (Avery Schreiber), probably some of the worst character names ever made. And along with them is their, I guess pilot, Galaxina played by Dorothy Stratten. Weird thing is, the actual name "Galaxina" is a brand. Apparently every police squad is issued one. Hmmm...so doesn't that defeat the purpose of basing this movie off the main character? I thought the name was to represent a specific individual, not a company.

Anything else beyond this point is just cheap effects, bad sound engineering, impossible logic, stolen music and a slew of other lame characters. The cheap effects belong to the silly lazer fights between people or space ships. The bad sound engineering belong to things like screeching tires being used for space ships making U-turns. Come on really? There's too much that belongs to impossible logic because there's way too much to go over. Can you believe this film doesn't even have a designated composer? That's because none of the music is original! If you watch this movie, any of the music being played already belongs to some other famous movie. Lastly, the lamest character in this movie is the villain. Just downright insulting. He sounds like a James Earl Jones’ understudy that didn't make the cut.

The lame villain.....whatever his name is....---___---

Now I know this movie is a sci-fi parody of sorts but nothing works. The small amount of slapstick that is injected does not leave a good impression and the acting isn't memorable either. Just because there's an actor mocking Spock called Mr. Spot, doesn't make it clever. Also having a bunch of space bikers worship a god named "Harlee David Son" is being extremely unoriginal. Even stranger is that there is an actual actor who plays a convincing robot and to be honest, I would have preferred seeing that actor portray Galaxina than Dorothy Stratten, who barely made herself look like a robot at all. This movie should only be seen if you want to waste time.

Not only is this movie an insult to the sci-fi genre but it also creates a bad reputation for the parody genre. This is not even enjoyable on the worst level possible. Don't waste your time.

Points Earned --> 1:10